If you’ve ever listened to Dave Ramsey’s radio show, you’ll be familiar with the phrase, “Better than I deserve.” You see, when someone calls in and asks Dave how he is doing, he answers, “Better than I deserve.” Now I’m not going to delve into any angle of theology or affirmations on that phrase. What I am going to tell you is a little story about how God my Father in Heaven treated me with nothing but love, kindness and a double blessing last week. This post is meant to encourage, not brag. And since that day last week, I’ve been more aware of the little gifts God gives me each and every day.
Better Than I Deserve
Last week the relics of Saint Maria Goretti were in the city near us. The kids and I were so excited that one of the locations of the veneration would be in the small town near us saving us from having to go into the city at night. We figured the smaller church verse the Cathedral would be better suited to taking younger children plus it would be during the day and our nights seem to fill up quickly with various activities and errands. So we made a plan to go after the Mass but before I had to take my daughter to work.
The Mass ran over. There were people everywhere. The lines were long…really long. We had to park a ways away. But we stood in line, hoping it would start moving and we could venerate the relics before we had to leave. The line barely moved. More people kept getting in line behind us. I eventually had to make the decision to leave to take my daughter to work 15 minutes away…after standing in line all that time and getting no where.
I would be gone only about 30 minutes so I made the decision to leave the rest of the children in line, hoping by the time I got back the line would have moved closer and I could just jump back in with my children.
The line did move while I was gone. After I found a parking spot and was just about to reach the church…I saw my children just walking out the door of the church; they had just venerated the relics of Saint Maria Goretti. The line was still outside stretched around the church and they were supposed to be closing in 10 minutes to move her relics to another church, the one in the city. I knew I didn’t have time to get back in line.
Not to sound all dramatic like a novel, but…I turned on my heel, hot tears stinging my eyes. I had missed it. I walked quickly, all the way back to where I parked, with my children following behind me. They knew I was upset. They knew I was disappointed. They knew I was holding back tears.
They saw a friend getting out of her car with her small children and they stopped and chatted. I kept on walking and holding back tears. Really the way that should read is, “I continued on, throwing my adult temper tantrum internally.”
I called Chris to tell him what had happened. And he told me he would cancel his plans so I could go into the city to the Cathedral to venerate the relics. I didn’t even know what to say except “Thank you.” I married better than I deserve.
I texted to see if Bernadette wanted to go since she had to leave early to go to work and she said “Yes please!” Anna wanted to go again so she and I picked Bernadette up from work and headed into town. The lines were already long. The Mass was running over. The usher told us to expect at least a two hour wait.
I think we may have actually waited about two hours. But once the line started moving it moved pretty quickly. And when we came out of the church, there was only a short line, “Maybe 15 minutes” the usher told us. So we got back in line to venerate her relics one more time. Better than I deserve.
The Lord not only granted the desire of my heart to venerate the relics of Saint Maria Goretti…He granted it twice. He granted it in spite of my internal temper tantrum. Sometimes, actual MANY times, His grace and mercy are overwhelming to me because they are better than I think I deserve.
Amanda says
Beautiful! Such a gift! We missed it here in Dallas. Our group was going during nap times and with our back and forth complications I stayed back. But thanks be to God for the gift of our saints and those moments that share His sweet Love for us <3
Jenny says
You were there in spirit and God knows your heart and present limitations. Keep up the good work momma!
Kaethe Pittman says
Your Chris is a jewel, truly treating his wife like the precious gift from God that she is!
Jenny says
Oh thank you Kaethe. He is a good, good man.
Lux says
I hope he won’t mind me borrowing that line. Better than I deserve pretty much sums me up too.
Jenny says
It does. I sometimes struggle with this phrase because on the other hand, we are children of the most high God…
Jason Bassett says
Yes, but this is the gift of God not based on our merit but His love. Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God….. Better than we deserve. God is kind to us far beyond our desserts, from making us His to the many blessings He heaps upon us every day, most of which we never even notice.
Chris says
Hi Jenny,
I just found you on Pinterest last night so this is the first post I have read! I loved hearing about your husband! I believe you are loved deeply and that your husband is a man of faith who allows God to work through him!
I too was blessed to see Maria Goretti’s relic as she visited my home parish and understand how upset you must have been initially, but how awesome it was once you did get to see her! The enthusiasm, love and healing I saw the day she was with us between attendees. parishioiners and volunteers has carried over and our priest and parish remain very alive since her visit!
What a once in a life time experience! “Better than I deserve”, but treasured forever!
By the way, I would not consider your reaction an “adult temper tantrum”, but an honest, open display of emotions. I believe it is very important for our kids to see our emotions and vulnerability and to know when we are upset.
Blessings to you!
Jenny says
Thank you for your kindness Chris, but on my end and after the fact, I’m pretty sure it was an adult temper tantrum, lol!
Jessi Fearon @TheBudgetMama says
Oh I love this story Jenny! Thank you for this beautiful piece of encouragement today – I definitely needed it! 🙂
Jenny says
Girl you are welcome! I loved the pictures of you at the Dave Ramsey event, I can;t remember the name?? If I were going to be jealous of you, first, you were there–WITH THE DAVE RAMSEY! And second, really Jessi, you just had a baby, could you at least look like it for the rest of us, lol!!